Come see our sink grown plant.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
