you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
