Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
