My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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