We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I want to fling myself into the sun
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
