There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
