he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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