I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
