There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Two words: nipple clamps
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