i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
