soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
