The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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