I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
