party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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