i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
