So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
