He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
