your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
