am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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