escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
