3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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