I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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