walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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