Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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