if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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