someone get that fucking seahorse.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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