you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
