shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
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You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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