I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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