I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
