Do vagina's smell?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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