how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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