Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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