i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
