guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
