dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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