I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
