I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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