What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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