This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
