the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
