is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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