we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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