We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i will never coherently bang her
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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