I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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