pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
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YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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I just had sex on a roof
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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