How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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