I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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