the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
