im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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