did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
