Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
