He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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