Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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