If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
