You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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