Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
