I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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