So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Shame - the story of my life.
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