no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
