Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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