I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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